the hardest summer

yes yes I am back to give anyone who actually read this blog an update :]. The semester is winding down and there is still so much to do

this semester has been difficult and I feel worn out already but I'm doing really well.

I've been volunteering for Dr. Joe, the audiologist who taught us last semester, since February and it's been quite an experience. I've been able to observe and interact with many children with multiple disabilities. I really owe Dr. Joe for this experience opportunity. He has taken me to hearing aid company conventions and has taught me so much about the field, the politics, and about life in general and I am so thankful. Every day at Dr. Joe's I learn something new. I'm his only volunteer so I really get that one on one interaction which is priceless, something seen only in the latter stages of grad school clinics.

The one handicapp I had going into this year was that I didn't have any experience. I was afraid I couldn't do what I set out to do but I'm doing fine. I should be on my way to applying for grad school this upcoming march. I decided to wait a year to get more experience and I hope it turns out for the better. The good news is that the program is offering us the SLPA practicum so I can get my assistant certification and work as a slpa up until I prep myself for grad school and even during grad school to help pay for tuition. I really need to get into the workfield for experience as well as the income. I heard the slpas get paid pretty well so i'm happy to know they're offering the course.

The bad news is that that adds to the already rigorous schedule of summer. Summer will be so difficult because of all the distractions. I really want to party like everyone but I need to get my act straight and my career in place. My time to grow up is here and now; and its so hard. Of course I want to be playing beer pong all the time. No one wants to study. But this pass year and this program at CSULB is my third chance at a fulfilling life and I'm not gonna make the same mistakes again. I've also been doing so well. In the beginning of the program I was afraid that I had to compete with many people with experience and multiple graduate degrees. One lady had a Ph.D; she's dropped out since then. I am truly proud with myself so far but theres a long path ahead. Alot of my teachers are young SLPs and are thinking about whether they should go for the PhD. I guess in every stage of life, there are new challenges. I want to look back when all is set and done and be satisfied with the fact that I gave it my all instead of out partying.

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for fun. I just really want to get my act in line so that I earn my fun.

With all that said, I've been studying so much all the time. I studied 18 hours straight for this pass test in phonology. It was our most difficult test yet. there was 400 pages of material to cover and honestly I couldn't get the studying I want done, so I had to just concentrate on the things I thought was going to be on the test. I studied from 10pm-6 at my house and then took a 1 hour break to shower and eat and then got to starbucks by 8am. I stayed at starbucks till 4pm; longer than the shifts of the people I saw at 8am lol. I couldn't go on at that point so I tossed in the towel and headed home for food and a 45 minute nap and headed to school at 6 pm. The test was lolomgwtf. I totally thought I failed and was praying for at least an 84 to keep my A. Turns out he was generous and I got a 91 :] yayyyy.

That's pretty much been life for me. Studying all the time like that. I lack the talent like some people so I have to make up for it through countless hours of studying. Four years ago in my first year at UCI, a professor told us: "those who succeed in college are not the smartest ones, but the ones who try the hardest." I wish I had the wisdom to take that advice back then, but it certainly proves true for me now. Better late than never right?

After the experiences thus far, I can really see myself being a speech pathologist. Things are clicking and its starting to make sense, and I'm really happy that it is.

I just finished my resource binder due tomorrow on saturday. Cynthia helped me so much and if it wasn't for her, I would probably still be working on it. Yea, we decided to work on it all weekend to get it done. We worked so hard, I was too tired to go have fun. She's amazing. She's doing well in her current classes and even has the time to help me with my work. That's something I can't do. She certainly has smarts than I have :].

I haven't been to as many socials like I have the passed years. I wonder what kind of reasons my friends come up for it :P but good friends will always understand whatever hardships and difficulties I must go through and not hold me up for something that we have plenty of.

I need to diet again! I'm getting chubssss
I'm looking forward to my first birthday without finals!
I'm looking forward to EDC!!

I hope to bring you more good news next time!!